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Obituary

2 min readMar 28, 2025
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Some days you just gotta write a song.

(The lyrics to a song I’m working on. You can hear the preview here.)

Well, on the day I read his obituary
I won’t be sad and it won’t be scary
We’ll drink champagne and a glass of sherry
In our west coast sanctuary

On the day his obit hits the press
I’ll put on the dog and the fancy dress

And dance because that date is blessed
Then think about him less and less

Ding Dong… Ding Dong Gone
Ding Dong… Ding Dong Gone

And when he’s in the dirt I’ll be elated
And this cannot be overstated
He’s fertilizing, unabated
But the worms won’t be associated

They’ll plant him in the ground that day
Won’t hear his voice, won’t hear him say
The million lies he fountain-spewed
Just joyous, quiet solitude

Ding Dong… Ding Dong Gone
Ding Dong… Ding Dong Gone

And to those he swindled and those he stiffed
And all those women and all those kids

To those ashamed of what they did in their uniforms
or wedged in double wide recliners and uninformed

I hope you find peace now

I hope we all find peace

Ding Dong… Ding Dong Gone
Ding Dong… Ding Dong Gone

When they carve the year after that hyphen
And the sucking stops from his giant siphon
And they give his mug that last paint job
And sew him up from neck to knob
I’ll be respectful, yeah, I’ll be nice
But better carve his tomb outta toilet ice
You better build a rope line 10 miles long
As folks queue up to irrigate his lawn
And pin him in his final diaper
Blow full time on the swindling piper
And tie that red tie in a bow
And shut the lid on his reality show

Ding Dong… Ding Dong Gone
Ding Dong… Ding Dong Gone

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Scott C Montgomery
Scott C Montgomery

Written by Scott C Montgomery

Scott is an award-winning writer, creative director, illustrator and musician. He’s based in Studio City, CA

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